'Tis true my form is something odd,
But blaming me is blaming God;
Could I create myself anew
I would not fail in pleasing you.
If I could reach from pole to pole
Or grasp the ocean with a span,
I would be measured by the soul;
The mind's the standard of the man.
But blaming me is blaming God;
Could I create myself anew
I would not fail in pleasing you.
If I could reach from pole to pole
Or grasp the ocean with a span,
I would be measured by the soul;
The mind's the standard of the man.
Dear Readers,
Above is a clip from the movie "The Elephant Man" about Joseph(aka John) Merrick who had a debilitating disease to the point he was called the Elephant Man. Also is a quote he used at the end of most of his letters made famous by Issac Watts from the writings "False Greatness".
Rachel Myatt was loved more than she could ever know by me so this has been a long time coming and its only just the start. The point I am trying to make is why would she be so hateful and cruel to someone who loved her and who she claimed to love. Was it was because I believed in her? Because I wasn't willing to just let go and let her walk all over me? I wasn't going to let her lie about having me in her life? It saddened me that she nor her family had the courage to stand up to me. It also saddened me that she let others in her Church make excuses for her and would put them in the line of fire instead of be woman enough to admit what she did was horrible. It also seems contradictory because the people of The Church of the New Jerusalem are such fans of Helen Keller who was deaf, blind, and mute. God gives us all the chance to shine and Rachel had been blessed with true love even after she had hurt other men and I could have destroyed her with the evil that I am capable of. I can be vindictive, I could have done mean and terrible things, but what did I do? I told the world I loved her and that she destroyed me by going against what her religion preached and most of all what God Preached. I called people out because of them only seeing her side and not once ever seeing that I was the one who was suffering and through all that I still put everything on the line to love her. I didn't want to play the weak victim. I wanted her to realize that she tried to play the victim, make me look bad during my state of mourning, pass judgment on me and say I was mentally unstable and that led to me becoming very sick with sadness and being unstable for the lies, deceit, and disregard she had for me and my family.
I want to stop for a minute to use this quote that has be come popular in the last couple of months. "Clarity settles all scores. It pays back all debts". You can hide, change your name, get married, have another relationship Rachel Myatt but this is going to continue to follow you and your family around. You can stop what is coming to you but you prefer evil to good and by you showing your example of ignoring me and not acting on something that could stay pretty private you only put more people at risk of being caught up in this. It is sad that your sister Rebecca can post a picture of her hugging her your mom up on mothers day telling her how much she loves her but both Jane Myatt and Rachel Myatt hurt me and both the memory of my mother and don't think anything of it. Yes my eye is on you and don't think I have forgotten. When the time come it will crush a lot of people. I don't threaten violence, physical harm, or revenge. My form of retribution is through love and the story I still have yet to tell. Rachel if you were woman enough you would contact me and end this. I know you nor any of your family wont because you are not sorry, you are not forgiving, and you have always been a bully. Someone gave you a taste of your own medicine and you tried to play the victim. Remember, you were the one who allowed me in your heart, you were the one who let me into your home, to meet your family, your child, and into your bed. I gave you all of me because I believed you were of the Lord. So yes you hurt me and changed my life by your hatefulness and hurtfulness and you are being called upon and called out by God to either mend what was broken or accept the consequences of being evil. 5 years down the line you cannot hide what you did and I am determined to make things bigger and when you hurt someone like me who was full of love and scar our beautiful hearts. Well lets just say we grow bigger, and stronger, and more determined and since you kicked me so far down with your evil, lies, and abandonment then I cannot go down any further. I was at the point of dying from a broken heart, every bone in my body hurt from your betrayal, I thought about drugs, alcohol, and and even using other women to try to ease the pain but I refused all of those in favor of writing and letting the world know my thoughts on both you Rachel Myatt, your family, and the New Church. Its all in your corner now. You can watch the clip above and maybe it will change your heart. Better yet watch the whole movie. I saw it first when I was 8 yrs old and it taught me to love and accept others even if they were different than myself. Look at most of my pictures they are with white people who at one time I was taught to hate. My best friends are a White Atheist and a Pakistani man and a Half Asian/White young lady. I am diverse, I am full of love, and I would never treat someone like you treated me because I thought they wouldn't fit in. Fact is I would have loved it in Dawson Creek. You didn't understand that I was going through so much I came cause I loved you and I gave you all that I was at the time. It was all about you and Jonathan and for the first time in my life I truly loved someone. Even my father had my back and we were distant his whole life. Then I get back here you tore me down, found every flaw that you could with me, and then denied there was a reason for you to treat me the way you did. When you said the word different I knew what you meant BLACK. You weren't the first person to treat me that way and I can never know what Joseph Merrick went through with his deformity because thats apples and oranges in comparison but I spent my whole life being Different and having doors kicked in my face for the simple color of my skin. So to you Rachel Myatt, Myatt Family, Friesen, Baker, and Stiles I say this. I am sorry that you could not see that I loved Rachel and Jonathan with all my heart and deemed to judge me the way you did but I am not sorry for letting the truth out and if Rachel felt publicly shamed she deserved it because to me I was trying to show her at first that she was publicly loved and that I was willing to climb any mountain to let anyone know I loved her and Jonathan more than anything. In Conclusion. You do reap what you sow and the seeds of what were done are finally coming into fruition through clarity and a clear mind. We are all children of God and no matter how different we may be we all deserve respect and love. You showed none of that to me during my darkest hour when all I did was put aside the pain and darkness to love you.
Above is a clip from the movie "The Elephant Man" about Joseph(aka John) Merrick who had a debilitating disease to the point he was called the Elephant Man. Also is a quote he used at the end of most of his letters made famous by Issac Watts from the writings "False Greatness".
Rachel Myatt was loved more than she could ever know by me so this has been a long time coming and its only just the start. The point I am trying to make is why would she be so hateful and cruel to someone who loved her and who she claimed to love. Was it was because I believed in her? Because I wasn't willing to just let go and let her walk all over me? I wasn't going to let her lie about having me in her life? It saddened me that she nor her family had the courage to stand up to me. It also saddened me that she let others in her Church make excuses for her and would put them in the line of fire instead of be woman enough to admit what she did was horrible. It also seems contradictory because the people of The Church of the New Jerusalem are such fans of Helen Keller who was deaf, blind, and mute. God gives us all the chance to shine and Rachel had been blessed with true love even after she had hurt other men and I could have destroyed her with the evil that I am capable of. I can be vindictive, I could have done mean and terrible things, but what did I do? I told the world I loved her and that she destroyed me by going against what her religion preached and most of all what God Preached. I called people out because of them only seeing her side and not once ever seeing that I was the one who was suffering and through all that I still put everything on the line to love her. I didn't want to play the weak victim. I wanted her to realize that she tried to play the victim, make me look bad during my state of mourning, pass judgment on me and say I was mentally unstable and that led to me becoming very sick with sadness and being unstable for the lies, deceit, and disregard she had for me and my family.
I want to stop for a minute to use this quote that has be come popular in the last couple of months. "Clarity settles all scores. It pays back all debts". You can hide, change your name, get married, have another relationship Rachel Myatt but this is going to continue to follow you and your family around. You can stop what is coming to you but you prefer evil to good and by you showing your example of ignoring me and not acting on something that could stay pretty private you only put more people at risk of being caught up in this. It is sad that your sister Rebecca can post a picture of her hugging her your mom up on mothers day telling her how much she loves her but both Jane Myatt and Rachel Myatt hurt me and both the memory of my mother and don't think anything of it. Yes my eye is on you and don't think I have forgotten. When the time come it will crush a lot of people. I don't threaten violence, physical harm, or revenge. My form of retribution is through love and the story I still have yet to tell. Rachel if you were woman enough you would contact me and end this. I know you nor any of your family wont because you are not sorry, you are not forgiving, and you have always been a bully. Someone gave you a taste of your own medicine and you tried to play the victim. Remember, you were the one who allowed me in your heart, you were the one who let me into your home, to meet your family, your child, and into your bed. I gave you all of me because I believed you were of the Lord. So yes you hurt me and changed my life by your hatefulness and hurtfulness and you are being called upon and called out by God to either mend what was broken or accept the consequences of being evil. 5 years down the line you cannot hide what you did and I am determined to make things bigger and when you hurt someone like me who was full of love and scar our beautiful hearts. Well lets just say we grow bigger, and stronger, and more determined and since you kicked me so far down with your evil, lies, and abandonment then I cannot go down any further. I was at the point of dying from a broken heart, every bone in my body hurt from your betrayal, I thought about drugs, alcohol, and and even using other women to try to ease the pain but I refused all of those in favor of writing and letting the world know my thoughts on both you Rachel Myatt, your family, and the New Church. Its all in your corner now. You can watch the clip above and maybe it will change your heart. Better yet watch the whole movie. I saw it first when I was 8 yrs old and it taught me to love and accept others even if they were different than myself. Look at most of my pictures they are with white people who at one time I was taught to hate. My best friends are a White Atheist and a Pakistani man and a Half Asian/White young lady. I am diverse, I am full of love, and I would never treat someone like you treated me because I thought they wouldn't fit in. Fact is I would have loved it in Dawson Creek. You didn't understand that I was going through so much I came cause I loved you and I gave you all that I was at the time. It was all about you and Jonathan and for the first time in my life I truly loved someone. Even my father had my back and we were distant his whole life. Then I get back here you tore me down, found every flaw that you could with me, and then denied there was a reason for you to treat me the way you did. When you said the word different I knew what you meant BLACK. You weren't the first person to treat me that way and I can never know what Joseph Merrick went through with his deformity because thats apples and oranges in comparison but I spent my whole life being Different and having doors kicked in my face for the simple color of my skin. So to you Rachel Myatt, Myatt Family, Friesen, Baker, and Stiles I say this. I am sorry that you could not see that I loved Rachel and Jonathan with all my heart and deemed to judge me the way you did but I am not sorry for letting the truth out and if Rachel felt publicly shamed she deserved it because to me I was trying to show her at first that she was publicly loved and that I was willing to climb any mountain to let anyone know I loved her and Jonathan more than anything. In Conclusion. You do reap what you sow and the seeds of what were done are finally coming into fruition through clarity and a clear mind. We are all children of God and no matter how different we may be we all deserve respect and love. You showed none of that to me during my darkest hour when all I did was put aside the pain and darkness to love you.
